A good neighbor
I was unloading some of the first boxes we'd packed and taken over to the townhouse. I noticed a washing machine sitting on the sidewalk in front of our neighbor's place for a couple of days. They were getting rid of it at some point and had apologized for it being out there. It wasn't a problem to us; it didn't block anything and we knew about lack of space for storing things. As I was unloading, the husband of the family came out and looked like he was going to attempt to load it to take it to the dumpster area, so I asked if I could help him out.
I thought this was a great chance to show kindness and start off our time at our new place on the right foot. He accepted and we lifted and loaded the washing machine to his boat, which he hooked up to his vehicle and transported away. It was relatively easy for us to knock it out and I walked away feeling pretty good about myself, thinking I'd demonstrated a willingness to notice when someone needed help and selflessly offering my services.
The next week, the battery in Cathy's car died. We were trying to figure out if it really was the battery when the wife of the family next stepped out and offered us her husband's device that read and charged batteries. She wasn't too sure how to use, but I tried and hooked it up, but I didn't know what I was doing. She said we could knock on their door later in the afternoon when he got home and he could help us out.
After I got off work, I was trying to figure out again if it was the battery or not. The husband came out and offered help, but I declined. I said I was going to wait until the next day to figure it out. He said he could hook up his battery charger and see if that worked, but I thought I could deal with it on my own. I went to Walmart to buy a battery, but they oddly didn't have one for the year of our CRV. I came back and decided I'd go to another store in the morning before work and deal with it then. (It should be noted that Cathy would have been thrilled if we'd just jumped the car off and driven it back to our apartment.)
The next morning, I bought a battery and brought it over to the new place, bringing along my wife, who's not a big fan of early mornings, especially when this could have been fixed before. As I tried to take the old battery out, I discovered that the tools I had weren't working -- I needed a different one to unscrew the screw that kept the battery in place. Frustrated that I couldn't fix it, we set up the jumper cables and got her car started. We drove to an auto shop and the mechanic there easily unscrewed the troubled screw and put in the new battery, without breaking a sweat or charging us.
As I've reflected on those two experiences, I've seen how pride and independence can be debilitating forces in relationships and interactions with others. It's also reminded me about having good ideas but not necessarily the actions to follow them up. I like the idea of being a good neighbor, but I don't think I execute that idea very well yet. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and frustration if I'd merely allowed a good deed to be returned to me. I could have saved my wife some frustration as well. Instead, I wanted to do it on my own, without help from anyone.
Being a good neighbor is much more than offering to help; it's being willing to be helped that may be even more important. Allowing someone else, whether it's a neighbor next door or your spouse, to give you help and assistance is vital to the success of that relationship. If all I do is give and don't allow someone else to do the same, I'm denying them the opportunity to serve. And I may be communicating that I'm too good or smart or independent to need something from them, which is such a hurtful message.
So, I'll keep my eye out for more opportunities to offer help. I'll keep looking to do good to others. But more than that, I'll be more aware of the times I need help and give them the chance they give me.
I thought this was a great chance to show kindness and start off our time at our new place on the right foot. He accepted and we lifted and loaded the washing machine to his boat, which he hooked up to his vehicle and transported away. It was relatively easy for us to knock it out and I walked away feeling pretty good about myself, thinking I'd demonstrated a willingness to notice when someone needed help and selflessly offering my services.
The next week, the battery in Cathy's car died. We were trying to figure out if it really was the battery when the wife of the family next stepped out and offered us her husband's device that read and charged batteries. She wasn't too sure how to use, but I tried and hooked it up, but I didn't know what I was doing. She said we could knock on their door later in the afternoon when he got home and he could help us out.
After I got off work, I was trying to figure out again if it was the battery or not. The husband came out and offered help, but I declined. I said I was going to wait until the next day to figure it out. He said he could hook up his battery charger and see if that worked, but I thought I could deal with it on my own. I went to Walmart to buy a battery, but they oddly didn't have one for the year of our CRV. I came back and decided I'd go to another store in the morning before work and deal with it then. (It should be noted that Cathy would have been thrilled if we'd just jumped the car off and driven it back to our apartment.)
The next morning, I bought a battery and brought it over to the new place, bringing along my wife, who's not a big fan of early mornings, especially when this could have been fixed before. As I tried to take the old battery out, I discovered that the tools I had weren't working -- I needed a different one to unscrew the screw that kept the battery in place. Frustrated that I couldn't fix it, we set up the jumper cables and got her car started. We drove to an auto shop and the mechanic there easily unscrewed the troubled screw and put in the new battery, without breaking a sweat or charging us.
As I've reflected on those two experiences, I've seen how pride and independence can be debilitating forces in relationships and interactions with others. It's also reminded me about having good ideas but not necessarily the actions to follow them up. I like the idea of being a good neighbor, but I don't think I execute that idea very well yet. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and frustration if I'd merely allowed a good deed to be returned to me. I could have saved my wife some frustration as well. Instead, I wanted to do it on my own, without help from anyone.
Being a good neighbor is much more than offering to help; it's being willing to be helped that may be even more important. Allowing someone else, whether it's a neighbor next door or your spouse, to give you help and assistance is vital to the success of that relationship. If all I do is give and don't allow someone else to do the same, I'm denying them the opportunity to serve. And I may be communicating that I'm too good or smart or independent to need something from them, which is such a hurtful message.
So, I'll keep my eye out for more opportunities to offer help. I'll keep looking to do good to others. But more than that, I'll be more aware of the times I need help and give them the chance they give me.
posted by Adam at 10:07 AM
1 Comments:
So true! I always think of the time Luke was in the hospital with his broken leg in Brazil and how much help I had to accept from the other missionaries. It was much harder to let them do for me (and my brand new baby and injured son and other 2 kids)than it ever would have been to have knocked myself out helping them...
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