back in san antonio

Anna and I got into San Antonio at 7:00 this morning. The drive took a little over 14 hours, but thankfully it was uneventful. When Anna and I drove out here before this past summer, she didn't drive any, which others loved to give her a hard time about. Last night, she drove the whole time through Arkansas, which was a nice break for me. We crashed at my house til 1:00 this afternoon, ran a few errands, and I'll be dropping her at the Leese's house later tonight (they are the family she stayed with this summer). Only two days til the Ski Retreat!

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Reflections from Christmas Mass:
It's so interesting and neat to be a part of another tradition and experience their worship of our God. There are so many things I found fascinating about the Catholic mass: the ritual, the liturgy, the aromas (incense), the repetitions ("Thanks be to the Lord," "Peace be with you," the Lord's Prayer, their creed), the thoughts shared by the priest, the way the participated and shared communion, the standing and the kneeling. I also learned about and appreciated my tradition more because of this experience. Why? How?

A lot of the reason I found this mass so fascinating was because it was different and new to me; it was worshipping God in a different language. My expectation was to see him through a new portal and window, using rituals mostly foreign to me. I went looking for the good, so it shouldn't be surprising that I found it. I'm sure if I were to have grown up in the Catholic faith, I would find some it stale, unexciting, blase, etc. -- a few words I've used to describe my tradition at times. But I wouldn't use any of those words to describe what I experienced Christmas morning. And the main reason those words have been used to describe my tradition is because it's mostly all I've known, so it's become rote and expected, without much variation.

But I see that whatever tradtion I grew up in would lend those feelings to me. Even a charismatic one -- high-energy can become stale as well. So whatever resentment I'd had for my tradition is being replaced with appreciation; it's one of many attempts to honestly come before the Father in reverence and worship. It's not better or worse than another; it's different and that's great. I'm at the point now, though, that I would love to see my tradition look around at others and harvest different methods of pursuing God in worship, while at the same time sharing with others our methods and traditions for their appreciation and closer walk with Jesus.

I love the creed that was recited by the congregation at the Christmas mass. What I heard and understood sounded like a story of their past, mentioning their belief in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and their work throughout history through various men and women. Identity can so easily be found in story and that's a neat thing they did. I liked that communion was given from one person to another, with the statements "the blood of Christ" and "the body of Christ" told to each other before the taking. Even though it smelled like baby powder, I found the incense to be a great addition; I took that as including as many senses as possible in worship, as well as a reminder that my life, worship, everything is a fragrant offering to the King. I enjoyed singing in unison, everyone singing the melody line. I was thankful to see men and women included in the "leadership" of the service: men and women both gave out communion up front; teen guys and girls both helped the priest in his duties; men and women both led singing -- it was all service to God, which is what counts. Kneeling during communion was a different experience; thankfully, their pews are equipped with padded fold-down thing-a-ma-jiggers on which the knees can rest.

It's all caused me to do more thinking about pursuing God with all I can, borrowing from as many different resources as possible because of the great insights each has to offer. And I want to be more deliberate about that pursuit. One thing I've thought of is the fact that Northside shares a property line with St. Mark the Evangelsist Catholic Church. I'm sure there is a great amount of knowledge and wisdom from another faith that I could be given insight to -- and they're in my backyard. What a great chance to make a new friend or two or three, create some bonds across faith lines, and celebrate what should be celebrated: Jesus Christ, Son of God, God made flesh, Living One, Unifying One. That's just one of my thoughts, dreams, and goals for 2005.

attempting previous advice

I'm really trying to put into practice a tip I received earlier in the week about writing something everyday, or late evening/early morning as has been the case most of these recent posts. I spent the afternoon and evening at my Grandma's house (my mom's mom, my only grandparent still living) with my mom's side of the family. Two of my cousins and their respective wives were not able to make it; one due to visiting family in Vegas this Christmas and the other due to a sick baby. We missed them, but as we (the cousins) get older and get married (at least, their side of the family has done so or is about to) we understand the traditional Christmas at Grandma's with everyone will be rare. But we still enjoy the time together.

And there was still one baby with us this year: my cousin Paul and his wife Aimee's daughter Lucy. What entertainment! It's incredibly fascinating how transfixing a small baby can be. Watching her watch everyone else is plain fun. Any small sound from her mouth grasps everyone's oohs and aahs and unwritable baby-talk. Where does that come from? How do each of us know how to change our voices to communicate with babies? Does it work? Does contorting my face really make her smile and laugh, or could it leave a scar for years to come? Yet regardless of how silly I make myself look, or anyone else for that matter, we continue to do so, desiring a pleasing response and hoping not to make her cry. And it is so much fun.

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One of the gifts I received tonight was a book (surprise, surprise). The title is The Know-It-All and it's written by A.J. Jacobs. It's Jacobs' account of reading through the whole Encyclopedia Brittanica: 44 million words on 33,000 pages. I'm sure many of you are thinking, "First of all, reading through the encyclopedia sounds and is boring enough. Why in the world would anyone want to read some guy's account of reading through the encyclopedia?" I'm not sure if this book is designed for a specific market segment or demographic; you'd think that group would be pretty small (I didn't realize the smartest person in the world club included other people). From what I've read through the second chapter, this is going to be a great book. One of the comments on the back of the book states, "I laughed out loud at something on every page," and I've done that too. He weaves stories of his interaction with his dad, wife, friends, and co-workers as he's progressing and sharing the information he's learning into the text around the alphabetical structure of an encyclopedia. For example, there is a title 'Asimov, Isaac' after which he writes about things he learned while reading that section and delves into his unimportance in comparison to how much Asimov left behind (author of 500 books, for example). Before I put you to sleep attempting to describe this book (if I've already done so, you can wake up now), read a segment online and enjoy his wit and banter yourself (click here).

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I'm hoping to go to a midnight mass tomorrow evening, but I've got to make sure there is one at midnight. I called the church office of St. Joseph's today and couldn't clearly understand the times of their Christmas masses. I think I'll have to drive by tomorrow to check if they're posted. I've never attended a mass, but I'm really excited about this. It will be a new God-experience, seeking him through a different set of lenses. Not because the lenses I have are wrong or cloudy or broken, but to continue to realize and know how grand and big and great and wonderful a God he really is. To know his love that surpasses knowledge; to grasp how wide and long and high and deep his love really is; to have my cup overflowing, whether in a valley of shadows or a mountaintop of sunlight. To reach the unreachable. To see beyond my wildest imagination. Truly great expectations.

gifts

What's the best gift you've given someone? I love discussion and ice-breaker questions and the typical way the previous question is worded has to do with the best gift received. I don't think I've ever been asked the best gift I've given. But it's a question that should be on our lips a lot more than what's been received. How refreshing it'd be to one-up each other with the outlandish ways we've blessed others; not to pat ourselves on the back, but to take joy in replicating God's goodness and grace in our lives.

That's why I like Christmas presents. I've read and heard a lot of talk this year about consumerism overtaking this season; it's been happening for several years now. It's great to read secular columns about the ridiculousness and extremes of holiday gift-buying and the pressure to buy another unnecessary item for someone who has too much already (I think we all fit in that category). Yet I'm not ready to go to the other extreme: giving nothing at all. I probably spend and budget a little more than I should each year for Christmas gifts, but it's a blessing that I can do that. Giving abundantly (which includes monetary ways as well as time, energy, emotion, attention, etc.) is a discipline and gift from God. To do so with cheer and joy is very much to be made into the image and likeness of the Creator.

So while I'm thankful for the awareness of the detriments that consumerism is causing our culture, let's make that an issue for the whole year, not just one month. Let's not focus on getting away from consumerism for a month, only to return to it the next eleven. Shouldn't that be switched? Better yet, let's fight consumerism the whole year and replace it with pure generosity and giving to everyone, from friends and family to strangers and needy, remembering that everyone is our neighbor.

I delight in giving gifts. It makes me feel like God (in the sense that I'm reaching my true identity), like I'm participating in something He enjoys doing. And I am. We are. When we give, we participate in His likeness and being. The anticipation we have before a gift is opened is minute to His anticipation of our joy from a sunset, ocean view, or newborn babe. Or of the abundant life He's made available for us. He's created us to be like Him and I keep finding my greatest joys come when I'm replicating something or some likeness of Him.

Just like Him. He gives, so we give. He loves, so we love. He lavishes abundantly, and we do as well. What we replicate is what we aspire to do and become. May His mystery and wonder be taken by the Spirit and made manifest in our bodies for His glory throughout all the earth.

einstein quotes

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

tp master

It's amazing how much can be packed into a weekend: a high school basketball game, a trip to Memphis to watch my brother's college game, a trivial pursuit game between male and female alumni, Christmas with my family from Atlanta (they came here), board games, family story night, and reunions with friends from high school I've gone too long of a time in between seeing.

The Trivial Pursuit game is a holiday tradition dating back officially to 1995, but with origins in the 80s I was told. It is hosted by my high school biology teacher, Mrs. Swinea, at her home. Alumni from Mars Hill Bible School are invited to attend and match brains & wits, boys vs. girls. Last year was the first time I can remember (my participation goes back to '99) the females were victorious; the gap may have been longer. Some of the older guard were called in, actually challenged, to set the world back in order. Fortunately, in case you'd been wondering why things seemed so much more stable since Saturday night, the guys did reclaim the trophy. The traditional victory lap around the house was passed on, mostly due to being locked out during previous celebrations of the sort. The TP Master, as the statue-trophy is named, was relieved of wearing the bow that had been attached to his head. Oh, the winning question/answer: Who had a role in "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" before landing a spot on "ER"? Thank you, George Clooney.

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Do books on CD count towards books you've read? I would think so, but I'm not sure. The information and story have been communicated, though not through reading. But is reading necessarily superior to listening when it comes to books? Is it enough to predicate a separate list, such as Books I've Read and Books to Which I've Listened? That's the kind of thing I'll occasionally think about at 1:00 am.

things i thought and witnessed while driving to alabama

Witnessed: a battle between an Isuzu Trooper and an 18-wheeler. I was on I-20 on the south loop around Dallas when I, in the second-farthest lane to the left, sped past an 18-wheeler with the Isuzu in front of it. The guy driving the car seemed to be taking his time. After I passed and went on ahead, I was soon passed on my right by that 18-wheeler. A few seconds later, the Trooper passed me, got in front of the big truck in the far left lane, and slowed down. The 18-wheeler moved one lane to the right, sped up and began to pass the car...except that he hadn't moved completely ahead of him. As the truck was moving to the left lane, the Isuzu held his ground, and not only didn't budge or slow down, he sped up! The truck had to move back, let the guy pass, and fall in behind him. At which point, the guy slowed down again! Witnessing all this from 40 yards behind, I decided I'd rather be ahead of these two loons, passed them on the right, and continued on my way.

Thought: about being a writer (not in place of what I'm doing, but as well...and maybe more fully in the future, who knows). Of novels, articles, books, screenplays, I'm not sure, but some type of writer. If you've not read Roaring Lambs, find a copy of it and get ready to move to Hollywood. Well, ok, you don't have to move there; but there's a great challenge to the Christian community to do something godly in response to what we find unholy in our media, entertainment, and world. I also tried to figure what type of writing would best fit what I've experienced. Should I go Christian magazine article? Creative nonfiction? Inspirationaly thought? Children's books? Where to start?

Thought: about heaven. One of the books I listened to was The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I was glad there were a couple of interviews with the author included on the CDs, to hear from him his thought behind the book and concept. Creative, original, and inspiring. There was a question in BSF last week about how to explain heaven to a child. Taking from Neo's thoughts in one of McLaren's books, I thought of it as a big Ring Around the Roses dance: something kids can relate to; there's movement together; there's motion and rhythm and singing; yet it is played out in a cosmic dance of unity, love, and fellowship. Neo describes the pre-beginning (before creation) as the fellowship of the Father, Son, and Spirit in a dance of joy, excitement, and fulfillment, as well as a longing to extend that beyond themselves; thus, creation. Entering into God's dance.

Witnessed: a sinking orange sun into the Texas landscape behind me from my rearview mirror -- beautiful. What a contrast: ahead, darkening skies, low visibility, blandness of the dark, while behind existed astounding colors, a painted sky, and even in the daily death of the sun to below our horizon, it goes down in magnificent splendor.

Thought: It's going to be so good to see and be with my family for a little over a week.

random gifts for myself

I don't do well shopping without clear objectives. It's difficult for me to browse through a store or the mall if I'm not going with a general idea of what I'm looking for. The past two Fridays I've attempted to do my Christmas shopping for my family, but the only thing I bought as a Christmas gift was what I knew I wanted to get Dad. Mom, Luke, Anna, and Bethany...no clue. I did pick up presents for Mom and Luke yesterday, mostly because I'm leaving for Alabama tomorrow and work better with that kind of pressure. I'm still looking for gifts for the girls; maybe tonight after church I can take that out.

More troubling than not finding something for who I'm supposed to be buying for is buying things for me. While at Best Buy (a store I don't frequent as much as I did because of the overwhelming desire to contribute dollars to them whenever I'm there) this past Friday, I saw "Zoolander" for $9.99. Ben Stiller actually stepped out from the cover and said, "Buy me." So I did. Last night, I was at HEB buying stamps for my cards and saw "Gattaca" for the same price. This was a bit different; it a great price for one of my favorite movies (I've always liked Ethan Hawke because of his role in my favorite movie of all time --"Dead Poets Society"-- and Uma Thurman is just downright alluring, which I find very attractive, and the story is a great one to chew on and think about), but I also caught myself not wanting be embarrassed. Here's how that could've happened:

I couldn't remember if HEB sold stamps. I jumped to the express check-out line, which at this time of year is a lie, with nothing in my hands. I noticed the DVDs they were selling and saw "Gattaca" was one of them. I thought, "How silly will I look if I get up to buy stamps from this guy and they don't sell them or they're out? Why don't I just buy this movie, which I really like, as my out so that I haven't wasted this 15 minutes standing in line?" When I got up there, I asked for stamps, which they do sell, but he had to go get one more book for me. As I watched where he went to get them, I realized I could've gone over to the same machine he did and bought them myself. The lengths we go to to keep from appearing awkward, embarrassed, or as if we don't know what we're doing. I hear the French Taunter from Monty Python calling out to me, "You silly person." Yes I am.

books i read this year

My grandma keeps a running list of the books she reads each month, accumulating for the year. The past two years I've wanted to look back over a list of books I'd read, but haven't kept that kind of a list. Maybe that can be a New Year's resolution for me; maybe I'll keep it in my day-planner since I almost always have that with me.

One more note before the list: I couldn't stand doing book reports in school, but I'm understanding the great value in them more and more. I find that I can read through a book, be challenged in my thinking and changed, but struggle many times to recount to someone what it was about that book I found so fascinating, enjoyable, or interesting. This frustration hasnt' boiled over to the point that I've begun to do book reports on my reading, but the thought exists. Maybe that's something I'll shoot for in the next year or two. It would probably mean re-reading several books, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Adam's Top Ten Books That He Read in 2004
10. Moneyball by Michael Lewis. Great look at new recruitment (as well as 'new stats') of major league baseball players.
9. The Blue Day Book by Bradley Trevor Greive. Wonderful pictures to go with cheering yourself up; I read this short picture book many times.
8. More Ready Than You Realize by Brian McLaren. Count conversations, not conversions; a look at a 'new' evangelism model and modes.
7. A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren. The first of a trilogy about being a follower of Jesus in the 21st century.
6. The Story We Find Ourselves In by Brian McLaren. The second of that trilogy; made me think about my worldview more than any book I've read.
5. Reviving the Ancient Faith: The Story of churches of Christ in America by Richard T. Hughes. Gave me great insight to the great men and women of this movement; I loved reading about David Lipscomb -- what a great individual, what interesting beliefs. This book has given me an outstanding appreciation for my heritage and a desire to continue in the spirit of the movement to be relevant and meaningful to my time and place.
4. Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. I didn't think Wild at Heart could be topped, but the inspiration and thoughts I took from this may have done it.
3. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. A friend of mine told me that after reading this book she wanted to marry Michael Hosea; I could almost say the same thing. Seriously, Rivers paints a gorgeous picture of the Father's love through that character and draws you into the story in a powerful, changing way. It makes you fall in love with God all over again.
2. Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers by Chap Clark. I heard Chap at NCYM in Anaheim at the beginning of the year and he talked about this book coming out in the fall. I waited with anticipation after he took that class through 45 minutes of as much of the material from the book as possible. It's opened my eyes to so many things about the teenage world and given me confidence to continue working with them, listening to their stories, sitting alongside them on the side of the road. It's tough to read what's going on in their worlds, but I'm thankful someone has provided this great resource.
And, the No. 1 I read this past year is
1. A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. I saw this book at youthspecialties.com one day as I was browsing through looking for curriculum ideas. It caught my eye and I ordered it. About half-way through it, I looked a little more closely at the schedule for the Zoe Conference I would be attending shortly, only to find out McLaren was one of the speakers. Being this was the first book of his I read, I think that contributes to my high placement of it; regardless, what he says in these pages is something I want to adopt. It's more than taking the best of all Christian traditions and learning from them, synchronizing them. It's about realizing that our search for God and knowledge of Him should always be a humble endeavor, meaning we've got to admit we are going to be wrong while others may be right. Beyond that, it's not about getting it right or wrong; it's about being the creation we were created to be, in all its goodness, joy, fullness, creativeness, and love. Get it. Read it.

Here are the other books I read this year: Blook Covenant, The Da Vinci Code, They Smell Like Sheep, Every Man's Battle, The Priest, And the Shofar Blew, Church in Emerging Culture, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind. I also read these magazines consistently, most of the time cover-to-cover, but not always: ESPN the Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and Texas Monthly. I'm finishing up a book called New Way to be Human, which may make it to my 2004 list if I'll hurry and get it done.

I was able to finally get my thoughts together for a Christmas letter, which I've got to get in the mail next week. I'm still not sure what kind of format (narrative, lists, superlative-type stuff) I'm going to use, but I've got most of the content in place. As I have time, I'll try to reflect on this entry and shed a little more light on what I took from these books, especially some that didn't make the Top Ten.

Alright, I'm meeting some friends for dinner and a movie in a little bit. We're going to see "Ocean's Twelve" tonight; I read a not-so-good review of it yesterday, which may turn out to be good -- I've got low expectations. But it's tough to really have low expectations after such a great first movie. I'm sure it will be fun. And, in the end, it's about who you're with and not what you see that counts.

recap, part 2

One thing I forgot to mention about the first four months of this past year was the visit my brother and his girlfriend made at the end of March. The three of us had a lot of fun, doing an array of things, from a Spurs game to visiting Gruene, hanging out at my apartment and moving some of my things to my storage space, and of course, the River Walk -- it may not be a complete trip to San Antonio if you don't make it down there.

May brought more busyness. Mom came in for a couple of days to speak at the Mom-Son Lunch at Northside the Friday and Saturday of Mother's Day weekend. I went back to Alabama for Bethany's graduation; it's crazy that my youngest sister has just about completed her first semester in college now. Anna and I drove her car back to San Antonio since she'd be interning for me through the summer, which was and continues to be, a blessing to the youth ministry at Northside. Matt, who'd interned for me the previous summer, returned and we had an incredible, extremely busy summer. I still feel a bit bad about the amount of things we had going on.

Where to start with the summer? I felt much more confident approaching this past summer than the previous; experience does that for you, I guess. Our usual slate of activities included Work Camp, Zenith, Cornerstone, and VBS. This was also a summer for our Brazil campaign; unfortunately, I could only take one intern, so Anna was left behind to run things for a couple of weeks, which she did easily, though I think she wore herself out, too. I was blessed to baptize two of our teens at Zenith; that camp is always a great highlight because of the spiritual depth our teens are exposed to and experience.

The Brazil trip was unusual for me for a couple of reasons: it was my first without my family and the first in which I'd been responsible for planning and organizing from beginning to end. Being back in Fortaleza refreshed my mind to the possibility of returning at some point in my life to work with them. Too many things to mention about it, though; getting to sit in on a couple of dreaming meetings with their leadership was particularly exciting. I returned to the States a couple of days early to prepare for Cornerstone, while Matt stayed back with the group though he'd be going to Cornerstone too. Sheer craziness.

After Cornerstone, which is such a great camp as it focuses so well on middle school teens, there was a beach trip, which Luke and Bethany were able to join us on. We enjoyed not only that time, but a fun evening downtown, too. It was great for the four of us to spend that time together. In the midst of all these major activities, Matt and Anna were spending incredible amounts of time with the teens, watching a whole lot of movies and being in many homes. We finished with VBS, a day at the lake, and a party for them. Dad flew out to drive Anna back, though I think she did some of the driving too.

I waited a couple of weeks to take my post-summer break because one of my good friends from high school was getting married near the end of August. So I went back to Alabama, got to go to Amber's wedding, which 21 of the 56 people I graduated with attended -- so we had a mini-reunion. I went back to San Antonio and the weekend after I got back I was off to an area wide middle school retreat, which led into September. I learned (though have forgotten a bit) to swing dance Labor Day weekend. Anna flew in late September to go to Abilene; I went to Nashville at the end of September for a conference, which led into October. October was filled with more craziness: family retreat, the start of our NEON groups, a trip to New York, and the beginning rumblings of a skydiving outing.

Interspersed through the summer was a romance (I'm not really sure how to label it, so that word will have to do), which excited a whole lot of people around here, me included -- maybe a little too much, though. It seems many at church are waiting on pins and needles for 'that' to happen; I found myself caught up in it more than I would have liked, looking back. But that friendship did bring me a lot of joy and excitement, which I needed during the summer. I really believed it enhanced and gave me a renewed excitement for what I was doing. I may have been much more focused on how tired I was getting if not for this; her too, for that matter. 'Holy distraction' could describe it in some ways: not that attention was taken from ministry, but from some of the stresses and drains and replaced with joy, excitement, and anticipation, which I consider a holy endeavor.

I guess that lists most everything up through November. But I haven't gotten to the mental activities I've experienced, though I don't know if I'm going to get into all of that. I'll get to a book list next week and use that as a jumping-off point; there have been many books that have challenged, prodded, expanded, and refreshed my mind. The constant motion of life reminds me that change is inevitable, constant, and should be expected. I embrace and rejoice in that. I think that's what transformation is about. It can't be limited to a one-time deal. I've been changed by my activities and choices from this past year, as well as the conversations, books, and meetings in which I've participated. I'm becoming more patient, thoughtful, encouraging, experienced, understanding, and loving. To borrow a tree analogy, the food I'm taking in from my roots and exposure to the sun is being transformed into fruit. (Insert fruitcake, fruity joke here.) The Spirit's work inside is doing something that will yield a product for others to see and receive: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. At least, that's the idea.

language limitations

Language can be both a blessing and a curse. It's great to be able to communicate our thoughts through words, sounds, phrases, and manipulation/intermixing of those. At the same time, I'm finding that as advanced as our languages have become, they still can't completely portray certain truths or even The Truth accurately. How could a created language fully describe the Creator? Could the created ever fully grasp the Creator? Probably not; not to be pessimistic, rather reverential and humble, the Creator Being is too much for our minds to fully grasp. Which means our attempts to describe, relate, and understand this Being are going to fall short.

What I'm finding this means, as I continue to read The Story We Find Ourselves In (yes, another McLaren book; it's the follow-up to A New Kind of Christian which I finished Friday), is a little more flexibility with a literal reading of Scripture. Now, before you cast me off as a heretic, re-read the previous paragraph about language limitations. Doesn't this make a little bit of sense? Can you see that in some ways we've exalted the written word above The Word, Jesus? In the battle against the holiness of the Bible, well-meaning people have sometimes made an idol out of the Bible, turning it into more than a tool to search for Him.

I believe in the Bible with all my heart. But, honestly, the way I'm reading it and using it is becoming less and less as a constitution, rule book, guidelines, answer book, and authority & more and more as a love letter, a book of questions and mystery, a collection of thoughts, poems, and ideas about the Creator, a history of God's working with and through His creation. To some, that's going to sound like heresy; it's going to read like my faith is diminishing. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. As I continue on my journey, being challenged in thought, learning from others, and considering what this will do for my view of God's world, I've never believed in the greatness of God as I do now. I've never had a greater respect, awe, amazement, and wonder of Him. I'm continually humbled when I consider the works of His hands. And I'm learning to embrace mystery about God.

I'm finding more truth in Jesus' words about knowing his people by their fruit. As I consider new thoughts and stories, I'm going to keep asking myself, "Is this making me more like Jesus? Am I loving others more and more, sincerely, justly, and truly? Does the tree of my life, words, and actions produce joy, peace, patience, kindness? Do my actions resemble the lifestyle of Jesus?" If so, that's how I know the Spirit is guiding. I want God to repeat the words of his initial creation, "It is very good."

recap, part 1

My 2004 kicked-off in Florence, AL. I remember driving with Bethany, my youngest sister, to a couple of different places, hanging out with her and some of her friends (this was her senior year of high school). We ended up at a lock-in at Stony Point, my church in Florence. I went back to San Antonio, then on to NCYM in Anaheim, CA -- a youth minister's conference. I visited Saddleback Church, viewing "The Passion of the Christ" followed by a Q & A with Mel Gibson.

Our high school Ski Retreat was in February at Breckenridge, CO. This was the most comfortable I'd felt skiing, although still not ready for the black runs a couple of the teens took me on -- moguls are not my friends. After returning from that, I spent my birthday weekend in Abilene, TX visiting some friends, as well as getting ready for intern interviews. I attended the lectureship, as well. As God's grace allowed, my search for a female intern at ACU came up empty; another sign that my sister Anna would be spending the summer here.

I began considering housing for my future; my lease was going to be up in August, so I thought I should begin searching. Turns out, a couple of weeks after I did that, I was offered the opportunity to become a tenant at my present home, the 915. One of the roommates was getting married at the end of March and a room became available; I moved in April 1 and have been blessed to be part of a house of men who love God.

About the time I was moving in, I was a part of a group of people forming a tight circle of friends. (This is one of the Full House-type things I mentioned a few days ago; 'circle of friends' sounds so cheesy.) Over the past year, as we've gotten closer, there's an unspoken given that we're going to get together on the weekend for some activity/function/movie/hang-out. As I was sharing with Bruce, one of my fellow ministers, this group of friends gives me a place to belong, to be active and social, and to be surrounded by peers, instead of teens and their parents. (Not that I don't enjoy doing that, but I can't do that all the time; that wouldn't be good for either party.) Not taking anything away from my job, ministry, etc., I get to be just another person in our group, which is very refreshing.

Also at the beginning of April I got to go to the NCAA Final Four Championship Game at the Alamodome. UConn beat Georgia Tech in a rout, but it was great to experience a sporting event like that. How many times is the Final Four hosted in your city, and what are the chances that you could get tickets? (Thanks to Jeff Slatton, by the way.) Only a few more items to check off my sporting event to do list. So far, I've got:

Regular season games I've attended:
Baseball (at these stadiums)-- Braves, Orioles, A's, Rangers, Astros, Cardinals, White Sox
Football-- Tennessee Titans/Oilers
Basketball-- Hawks, Spurs
Hockey-- Nashville Predators
NCAA Basketball: Lipscomb (that's so weird)
NCAA Football: Auburn, Tennessee, Vanderbilt

Post-season games I've attended:
Baseball -- NL Division Series, NLCS, ALCS
Football -- AFC Division Play-offs
Basketball -- Western Conference Finals
Hockey -- none
NCAA Basketball-- Final Four Championship Game
NCAA Football -- Division II Championship Games

So, after a short tangent, the Final Four and my trip to New York later in the year allowed me to add the the above list.

More 2004 recap to come...

new additions

You may notice a few new items on this page. I've added a counter to the site so I can have an idea of what kind of traffic is passing through; several of you have told me you enjoy reading my blog (and I thank you very much for doing so) and I was curious how frequently people were stopping by. There is a number at the bottom of the page; that's the counter.

Also, I figured out how to include a "Links" list. The first two links are to the blogs which got me into blogging. I check BST's and Mike's blogs each day. Niki has just started her blog; she's a friend of mine from Zenith and Cornerstone, summer camp our youth group attend. She and her husband are youth ministers; Benny, though, gets his name on the check. They and their three kids are special people I don't get to see often enough. And the fourth link is to Brian McLaren's website, which can get you to his blog. I figured since I talk about him so much, I might as well make his thoughts more readily available.

Continue to stop by. And don't be afraid to leave a comment.

breathe

As I understand the Hebrew/Jewish thought, it is common to think of a plurality of heavens. Levels, layers, or dimensions are some of the words that come to mind when I try to get my head around this concept. I think of it as circles within circles; the innermost circle would be the first heaven, which correlates to the air we breathe, the air surrounding us daily -- that's the first heaven. The second may be the clouds above, with the third the skies above those clouds and so on. (I feel much more confident in my understanding of the first than any following.)

Dallas Willard writes about this in The Divine Conspiracy, which was the first time my mind was enlightened to this concept. He refers to Jesus' proclamation of the Kingdom of Heaven being near and at hand as the Kingdom of the Air, implying its immediate presence and availability because it surrounds us. The phrase "Kingdom of the Air" makes me rethink my traditional concept of the kingdom of heaven; it forces me to consider it more real, present, and available than I previously believed. It makes more sense that Immanuel means "God with us" because he was, literally, at hand. And now his Spirit, literally, is at hand in this Kingdom of the Air.

So I fall more in love with song "Breathe" and come closer to understanding the power of such simple phrases, and yet stand in amazement at the depth of these lyrics:

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me

And I, I'm desperate for You
And I, I'm lost without You

Grant, O God, that Your presence in our lives flows just as the air we breathe. May every breath taken draw us into Your Kingdom. Just as our bodies are renewed, empowered, and invegorated with each breath, may it be so with Your Spirit as well. Just as Jesus breathed His Spirit onto the apostles, may that same Spirit, like the wind, flow into us. Just as we are surrounded by air in the atmosphere we live, may Your presence surround us by the power of Your Spirit.

from high school to full house

My senior class president in high school continues to organize one of the coolest things for our class since we've graduated: a Christmas newsletter. It sounds simple and trite, but each year at this time I look forward to receiving my questionaire in the mail to fill out and send back, anticipating what my high school classmates have been up to this past year. (I graduated with 56 other people, a small class comparatively to students in public school, but still a very close class by small-class comparisons.)

This started the first Christmas after we graduated and has continued for the past seven years (yes, I know, it's hard to believe I've been out for that amount of time -- for my San Antonio friends (roommates in particular), it's a harsh reminder of how young I am; for friends from high school and college, it's weird to think it's been that long). It's become a great holiday tradition; we even got together last year at a restaurant for a mini-reunion. So as I looked through the questions and wrote down some ideas for answers to flesh out later, I began thinking about what I'd really like to say upon reflection of this past year.

This line of thinking coincides with my attempt to put together a Christmas letter to send out to my friends and family, recapping my 2004 in humorous, self-depricating, insightful, and honest manner. I've got a list of events and highlights, as well as a list of some books I've read. The difficulty I'm running into is how to translate that into a narrative, or at least something more meaty than a factual list of things I've done.

Which spurred my thoughts to this: my desire is not to communicate what I've done this past year. I don't really want to recap what's happened to me and that's it. I want to tell a story that's continuing to unfold, and share what I am becoming because of what's been going on in my life; to share what transformations are taking place because of the events and decisions from this past calendar year. In what stories have I been partcipating? How do those stories relate and expose The Story?

I'd love to write about it all, so I may use this space as an outlet for that as I prepare that Christmas letter. I just don't want it to be too long. "Merry Christmas from Adam -- here's a text to proofread -- volume one. Volumes two and three will arrive in three weeks if we don't here back from you. Your credit card will be charged in four easy payments of $19.95." I promise I won't be an infomercial. It will most likely be more like an episode of Full House: goofy plotline; unique, somewhat believable settings (Beach Boys concerts, trips to Hawaii/Disneyland, Wake Up San Francisco become skydiving, Yankees/Red Sox Game 6, Brazil mission trip); a huge cast of characters, adding more all the time; wrapping up with a cheesy/happy/sappy moment of learning and insight that almost makes you want to change the channel but you don't because you've just got to watch the whole thing -- and even if we don't want to admit it, that moment makes sense and we're glad for it.

So I'll continue to wrestle through how to reflect and recount my becoming and transforming. It probably won't be exactly as I hope, but what is? That's the fun of it. I believe everything that happens to us, each decision we make, each thing that is done to us or by us fits into a larger context and has an effect on that larger picture in some way. The challenge is looking for the larger storyline, the "what's really going on" picture in the midst of the fun, joys, heartaches, heartbreaks, valleys, and mountains. I'm going to keep looking; I hope you will too.

hymns: ancient and modern

One of the best CDs I've listened to this year is Passion's Hymns Ancient and Modern. It contains some of the greatest hymns (O Worship the King, Take My Life, Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee, Doxology, How Great Thou Art to name a few), presented in a contemporary way. Some of the best worship leaders of today are the artists performing (I hate to use that word) the songs on the CD -- Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band, and Matt Redman are the ones who stand out to me. In the opening page, Louie Giglio writes this about the project:

We believe the Church is at its best telling the unrivaled story of God in language contemporary culture can relate to and absorb, while embracing the heritage of faith that has anchored Believers through all generations...it is the very fact that these songs have survived the ages that moves us to embrace them, inspiring us to contextualize them for worshippers to come.

I've just finished listening to the CD as I've been working this morning; the last song on the CD really struck me (again). It's Take My Life, with an added two-line chorus, reworked from it's original melody into an even greater song. Glorious lyrics for a prayer:

Take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to Thee
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee

Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose

Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee

Take my will and it Thine, it shall be no longer mine
Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee

Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee